HONEST CHRISTIAN DATING ADVICE | physical boundaries and finding the one!

HONEST CHRISTIAN DATING ADVICE | physical boundaries and finding the one!

// dating q&a from a Christian perspective! this is a q&a video sharing my advice and opinions on your dating questions. I talked about dating someone who does not share the same faith as you, physical and spiritual boundaries to have, discerning confusion from someone you’re pursuing, not idolizing your partner, and not comparing your relationship to others. I hope this video is helpful and do know that I’m not an expert, this is just from my heart 🙂


Things Mentioned:

-Chad and Tori’s “The One” Video- https://bit.ly/3cpEVZO
-You and Me Forever Book- https://amzn.to/3dE4giP
-Kenzie Elizabeth’s Faith Video- https://bit.ly/3csNfbc
-Katy Bellotte’s Podcast on Jealousy- https://spoti.fi/35ShAxu
-The Meaning of Marriage Book- https://amzn.to/2Ljyj3r
-My Podcast- https://spoti.fi/2RLg8qK


Instagram | @michellereed https://instagram.com/michellereed/
Business Inquiries | thisissmileyandshell@gmail.com


Let me know what other videos you’d like to see from me! Whether that be more week in my life vlog-style videos, week in my life in New York City videos, NYC videos, or lifestyle vlogs in NYC. Let me know if you’d like to see more finance videos on budgeting, saving, and being financially independent in your 20s! Or more videos of me trying new things for a week, whether that be new skills or habits. Or videos on getting married, planning a wedding, or getting married young!


  1. Patrick Slater on March 26, 2022 at 5:33 pm

    I feel like some of y’all are brainwashed by your pastor

  2. Tim Gillenwater on March 26, 2022 at 5:34 pm

    If we would all let the word of God set our boundaries and be our guide the world would be a better place

  3. Tyler Moodley on March 26, 2022 at 5:35 pm

    I admire your faith and loyalty to God. I pray that our God blesses me with a lady that has a faith as strong as yours!

  4. Grace Butler on March 26, 2022 at 5:35 pm

    Ladies, in any relationship always trust your instincts. Whether you call it instincts or guts, it will rarely lead you astray. Romance scams is
    still on the rise. I appreciate the fact you drill down to the small details how scams are being made and I think it’s important, because we women, are clueless in recognizing a scam from a true relationship. bringing up the scam details, helps to understand in what situation we are at. Please help get the word out! This has become an epidemic…and the embarrassment and shame keeps victims from coming forward. If you can help by reporting on online you have to through their agency Losangelesacfe@gmail com, certified government officials that offers a list of investigation and restitution services for free that can assist you if you have been a victim to love fraud and internet crimes. it doesn’t matter where you are based, but all voice help! It was helpful in my case, reporting the scam helps them take one step towards arresting the scammers. These scammers will never be stopped if all the victims, us, keep silent. Help the Feds build their database of Crimes to help stop this. You’re not alone, there’s millions of us.

  5. faith on March 26, 2022 at 5:36 pm

    Wait I’m a Christian 12yr old and I have had 3 ex’s they were all Christians and generally good people, it was NOT a serious relationship BC of our age but I need to know if it’s a sin to have a non serious relationship at young ages

  6. Ronald Eastling on March 26, 2022 at 5:37 pm

    Jesus said stay single and celibate for me if you can, all of His commands in the 4 gospels for us to do is the "at least" thing as Jesus’s servants to carry out like all His teachings are. He said only by obeying Him you will be saved. Luke 6

    Don’t take the mark of the beast or you will be locked out of heaven! Right hand or forehead, the only way to buy or sell.


  7. Maya Helena on March 26, 2022 at 5:39 pm

    hi michelle this is such a great video….I so relate to the idolizing the significant other….let’s kit I followed you on instagram my name is helena_helen_1985. Stay blessed and inspirational always xxoo

  8. gts3004 on March 26, 2022 at 5:42 pm

    Christian women that want to be wives are instructed in Scripture to follow the pattern of Sarah who called Abraham lord . The modern notion that a marriage is a partnership isn’t scriptural. The wife must obey her husband in all things and the husband is to love his one wife as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it

  9. Okkvltify on March 26, 2022 at 5:44 pm

    Funny how someone who never had sex in her life yet is giving advice on sexuality and how important it is in life. Sad, how believers distance themselves from the rest of the world by raising their kids with the teaching not to marry someone who does not believe and thus keeping up their bubble forever and ever.

  10. M A T on March 26, 2022 at 5:45 pm

    All guy’s intentions are sex or closest to it. Every guy deals with this everyday. If a guy say he doesn’t have this problem then I wouldn’t believe him. Even King David, a man after God’s own heart, with 2000 wives still lust after another man’s wife and had him killed so that he can have her. Sex will be a thorn in a guy’s side and God is not about to remove it. However, He will help you deal with it.

  11. Michelle Reed on March 26, 2022 at 5:46 pm

    I hope you guys enjoy a bit of a different video about dating! Timestamps below for specific questions! Thanks to everyone for asking questions, praying this helps some of you out.

    1:52- Advice for waiting for the one when you’ve been single?
    3:31- How to avoid idolizing your significant other?
    4:58- Should you date someone who doesn’t share the same faith as you but supports your beliefs?
    7:22- What boundaries should you put up while dating?
    10:57- How to not compare your relationship to other Christian relationships?
    12:29- Why would someone do premarital counseling? Is it helpful?
    13:22- Is it okay if I expect support to be reciprocated and not one party fully supporting the other solely?
    14:50- Can you spend too much time with your significant other?
    15:19- How to discern confusion when dating someone who doesn’t have clear intentions?
    16:28- How has your faith strengthened your relationship?
    17:35- How to handle dating around and not finding someone who fits?

  12. Aquathereum on March 26, 2022 at 5:49 pm

    Bless you 🙂 Sadly life will teach you that you cant hide behind stories, but anyway… Being truthful to partner and what you expect from them is a nail in this clip 🙂

  13. Always Pooh on March 26, 2022 at 5:49 pm

    Chances of finding ‘the one’ = 7 billion to one. Chances of finding ‘the one’ who is the following: bible believing, pure, intelligent, educated, cultured, beautiful, funny = zero. Wow, my happiness on Christmas Eve is painfully low. Soul mates???? I spend more time with the squirrels in my garden! Michelle, you are beautiful though and articulate.

  14. Merya Tathagres on March 26, 2022 at 5:50 pm

    I’m sorry to say Michelle, but you are going to eternal hell. Your sin is vanity among others. God cannot save you anymore.

  15. Rut Yesika Simak on March 26, 2022 at 5:50 pm

    I love your sharing Michelle:) Thanks and God bless your marriage

  16. Love + Fandom with Cheryl Muir on March 26, 2022 at 5:51 pm

    "When the Dad comes to the door and says, ‘What are your intentions?’ You should be that person for yourself." ❤️❤️

  17. kai on March 26, 2022 at 5:57 pm

    liked after i heard the first sentence

  18. Naruto Uzumaki on March 26, 2022 at 5:57 pm

    How do I find the words to tell her….?

    I’m in love with stacie’s brother…..

  19. Gamer Girl on March 26, 2022 at 5:58 pm

    loved it keep it up congrats

  20. Eliette Soler on March 26, 2022 at 5:59 pm

    I’m not Christian or religious at all but I appreciate this point of view and your advice because I am tired of hook up culture.

  21. Marv Black on March 26, 2022 at 6:03 pm

    I agree with everything, except, ur opinion on not studying the Bible together and praying together!! I think it’s rather important for building ur relationship with God! We can do it for ourselves and for each other!! Thank you so much for sharing

  22. Christian Mendez on March 26, 2022 at 6:06 pm

    Wow… I really love how you answered to the questions being asked, with the fundamental of what the word of God says. Because we ( evangelical Christians )need to live our life routine according to what the word of God says. God bless you.

  23. Alexis Cohen on March 26, 2022 at 6:06 pm

    So good Michelle!

  24. mt anders on March 26, 2022 at 6:08 pm

    Amen! Know the honeymoon phase will die, there are no "soul mates," and love is committing to the choice you’ve made!

  25. faith on March 26, 2022 at 6:11 pm

    Michelle i have a question about modesty from me, a 12yr old christian.
    Can you wear a cropp top only showing about 3cm of skin or is that still a sin?

  26. Paul Simeone on March 26, 2022 at 6:11 pm

    That’s a funny email. Every sermon I’ve been to about this topic stresses the man’s role and more often then not only the man’s role. We are called the knuckle heads, the undeserving etc. And that once we take the position we must love and by love I mean being permissive about everything without power to correct or to escape. One preacher said that quoting scripture to an abberent wife is abuse. Yet somehow we need to be spiritual leaders as well. Everything is on us yet in the modern church we have no agency. Everything and anything is our fault and if you go to counseling they will tell you to love more and man up. Right now I’m firmly in monk mode. I understand why the apostle Paul did what he did and said what he said. I can think of no reason to teather myself to another human being that would be of greater value than the kingdom of God. This video is spot on when you say marriage is not the be all end all.

  27. Maya Helena on March 26, 2022 at 6:12 pm

    I kind of find the being equally yoked scripture not only relevant to marriage partners but to actually friends…I also love what you said with regards to setting boundaries and making Jesus the center of your life and your spouse or significant other should contribute but not take the place of the Lord in one’s life…I so relate to this…I am writing a memoir which talks about my experience of idolizing a past boyfriend and also just sharing my life’s journey….thanks 4 sharing…I found you very inspirational….hope your life will continue to flourish

  28. Ciara Exantus on March 26, 2022 at 6:12 pm

    So very wise. Loved this video, especially when you discussed boundaries. Keep up the great work!

  29. mutebi moses on March 26, 2022 at 6:13 pm

    Am single and looking.am 35. Any single lady looking too?

  30. Lauren Barca on March 26, 2022 at 6:14 pm

    Thank you!!

  31. Troy Hayder on March 26, 2022 at 6:14 pm

    Jesus is the light…

    Put on your technicolour raincoat…

    A brah him is in the j cub

  32. C H on March 26, 2022 at 6:14 pm

    So much wisdom in this video, the Holy Spirit so clearly speaks through you 🙂 Thank you for sharing

  33. Mr. Irrelevant on March 26, 2022 at 6:20 pm

    The biggest question is that if she has a high snap score

  34. Matthew Russell on March 26, 2022 at 6:22 pm

    Hey so I’d like to share a little bit of my personal testemony. I am a Christian. I’ve grown up in a Christian home, but I was diagnosed with asperger’s syndrome, a form of high functioning autism. Throughout middle school and high school my special interest, as high functioning autists are known for, were vikings and their culture. They were my all time favorite warrior from ancient history because they were the ones I could relate to the most and setting my mind up like I was one of them proved to be quite useful when I played for my school’s football team. To this day, they still have special place in my heart, but I believe it comes with a cost. I believe my asperger’s and my passion for vikings made me into somewhat of a social outcast. Don’t get me wrong, I had friends growing up, but there weren’t a lot girls that were really interested in me. Not until I met my ex, who had a lot of issues. I wanted to commit to love as Christ loves me and use my love and my viking spirit to fight her demons. Unfortunately that failed and we broke up. I haven’t dated ever since. I’d like to date again and date in a God honoring way, but sometimes I see myself as this unlovable, Frankenstein monster that God created as a joke. I’m still working on fighting those thoughts with scripture and prayer.

  35. prettyquoiamix 2 on March 26, 2022 at 6:23 pm

    I am new here and I love God!!

  36. jonathan ganesh on March 26, 2022 at 6:23 pm

    Why find "the one" when you can find many. Lol.

  37. DOER on March 26, 2022 at 6:25 pm

    That sense of commitment is so important. That’s the sacrificial love of Christ: even after our constant rebellion and sin against him, he STILL was committed to us even though we never deserved it!

  38. Meghan Ridgell on March 26, 2022 at 6:25 pm

    Thank you so much for doing this video!! I love this. I am on my celibacy journey and I couldn’t be happier. Always makes me so happy to watch these types of videos. I cannot wait to talk more about it on my channel as well. Keep up the hard and amazing work!! 🙂

  39. Josy M. on March 26, 2022 at 6:27 pm

    Thank you so so much! That gave me so much strength in my current situation and those were exactly the right words that I needed. I will definitely read the book

  40. Before I go HOME. on March 26, 2022 at 6:28 pm

    If you are a Christian.


    That’s the Worlds way

    Courtship is closer to a Christian way.

    1st get things in order.

    God 1st

    Love Him, Love Yourself

    If you DONT have those 2



    Is God you Lord?

    Do you know what that MEANS.


    Soul Mates.

    The Worlds Terms again.

    Do we " choose " how we live?

    Or have we DIED to SELF.

    We SURRENDER our life to God.



    so He OWNS US.

    if we believe and accept His Sacrifice.

    Then its Christ who LIVES in US.



    wants are ANOTHER THING.


    We WANT


    Depend on God to MEET YOUR NEEDS.

    Not a Spouse.

    Primary NEEDS God provides
    Secondary NEEDS spouse provides


    and vice versa.


    God is Love and DEFINES LOVE.


    act and be WHO God created you to be.


    WIN who you WANT.

    God DOESNT give you a spouse who is IDENTICAL to YOU.


    Different on purpose.

    Would you listen to your friends on Having Heart Surgery

    Or someone who is Educated and Skilled in the area you NEED.

    As a teen I hated my parents.

    I was Unplanned and Unloved in their

    I DIDNT have God then.


    40 years later I look back at ALL THE WRECKAGE

    And wish I had Loving, open
    Transparent parents who actually LOVED ME.

    I’m living it for ALL MANKIND.

    Love OTHERS.


    God provided for him.

    He Loves Joseph and He met his NEEDS.

  41. Bearded Child on March 26, 2022 at 6:29 pm

    What’s really scary are all of the "Christian" girls who are willing to have sex out of marriage… Saying that both Anal, and oral sex are not affecting their pure virginity.

  42. Renee Ramoleta on March 26, 2022 at 6:30 pm

    The idolizing your significant other question is actually a good question, I never thought about it.

  43. Coral Hahn on March 26, 2022 at 6:30 pm

    Although we are not sexual beings as was popularized you sweetheart sister need to watch pastor Mark Gungor’s "Laugh your way to a better marriage." You need to understand a guys love language

  44. Ellona on March 26, 2022 at 6:32 pm

    I was about to date a non-believer then I realized it isn’t worth it. My boundaries/moral beliefs doesn’t align with his. I’ll continually pray for a Godly guy and wait.

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