Christian Breakup Lines – John Crist
Christian Breakup Lines – John Crist
“Are you Kirk Cameron? Cause you ’bout to be LEFT BEHIND.” We have plenty of Christian pickup lines…introducing Christian breakup lines, but John Crist.
John Crist is a standup comedian. For more videos, bio and live tour dates, visit http://www.johncristcomedy.com
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Here’s one I’ve heard before:
"I believe everything is possible with God, but with you everything is impossible". *ROASTED*
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven cuz you for sure got kicked out." XD XD XD
Jesus wept is my go to break up line…just say it and walk away and no one cares when you ghost them afterwards
I think the laying hands on you was the perverted version. Lol. Smh.
"Our relationship needs to be like the Red Sea, We need to split"
That short term missions trip was golden!
This is gold
this is the first and only "christian break up lines" *immediatly shows the number 2*
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These sound much more like roasts than breakup lines
Question: Are Christians not allowed to drink alcohol? I’m Catholic, and we are allowed to drink alcohol in moderation.
God be with you, cause I wont
you’re kinda like dust on my sandals, so imma just shake you off and get outta here.
Too funny! Thank you for sharing.
I have to use these!!!!
1:27 this one got me for some reason
When I look at you, I know exactly how Jacob felt when he looked at Leah.
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This is so good lol
Savage
Just look her dead in the eye and say " I’m doing the Lord’s work by telling you this ain’t gonna work"
may the Lord be with you cuz I won’t"
and on the third day he said I’m afraid of commitment"
I’m like the Nation of Israel and you’re like the Canaanites. We’re not supposed to be together.
I love ten thousand reasons!
One thing I found about dating, is that it’s useless. God provides everything we need, if were searching for it we are relying on ourselves and not relying or trusting in The Creator of all things that spoke and the universe came into existence.
Serious question, what is the Protestant view on alcohol? I know the Methodists are opposed to it all together, but do the rest of you allow it in moderation?
I just want to concentrate on serving the Lord right now
this is the church,
here is the steeple.
open the doors:
and we aint together anymore I’m going to a different church, bye!
*_don’t use that one_*
2 yrs later he’s posting one takes and has a bowl cut lol
Hey. Do you know Kirk Cameron? Because you are about to be left behind. Lol.
ROFL – love these!
Are we the two sides of bread in communion? Cause I was thinking we should break up.
Your wonderfully made for some one. I just don’t think it’s me.
I don’t need these because I can’t pick up anyone
The side comments in between the actual breakup lines really make this video lol
"We should do it like Jacob and Esau: go seperate ways!"
❤️✝️❤️Jesus loves you!!!!!❤️✝️❤️ Have a blessed day!!!!!❤️✝️❤️
Meh
This relationship is strange fire before the Lord.
"I prayed and really feel that there’s a better man out there for you and you’ll meet him within a year."
Effing liar. And P.S. God didn’t tell you that. He didn’t tell me that either.
Hey did it hurt when you fell from heaven, because you for sure got kicked out! Epic parody, that improved my mood.
Haha, this got reccomend on valentines day!