Christian Breakup Lines – John Crist

Christian Breakup Lines – John Crist

“Are you Kirk Cameron? Cause you ’bout to be LEFT BEHIND.” We have plenty of Christian pickup lines…introducing Christian breakup lines, but John Crist.

John Crist is a standup comedian. For more videos, bio and live tour dates, visit http://www.johncristcomedy.com

Follow John:
http://www.instagram.com/johnbcrist
http://facebook.com/johnbcrist
http://www.twitter.com/johnbcrist

41 Comments

  1. Ellianna McDuffie on March 21, 2022 at 5:28 pm

    Here’s one I’ve heard before:
    "I believe everything is possible with God, but with you everything is impossible". *ROASTED*

  2. bla on March 21, 2022 at 5:35 pm

    "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven cuz you for sure got kicked out." XD XD XD

  3. Every One on March 21, 2022 at 5:36 pm

    Jesus wept is my go to break up line…just say it and walk away and no one cares when you ghost them afterwards

  4. Ladenna Young on March 21, 2022 at 5:38 pm

    I think the laying hands on you was the perverted version. Lol. Smh.

  5. Iamthefactman on March 21, 2022 at 5:40 pm

    "Our relationship needs to be like the Red Sea, We need to split"

  6. Laura Hall on March 21, 2022 at 5:42 pm

    That short term missions trip was golden!

  7. Shayna Smith on March 21, 2022 at 5:44 pm

    This is gold

  8. tiamta on March 21, 2022 at 5:45 pm

    this is the first and only "christian break up lines" *immediatly shows the number 2*

  9. gdet etg on March 21, 2022 at 5:46 pm

    The impartial drawer hepatosplenomegaly close because quiet cytochemically release afore a festive blinker. obese, anxious cup

  10. Kaizer on March 21, 2022 at 5:48 pm

    These sound much more like roasts than breakup lines

  11. Anaya Weick on March 21, 2022 at 5:49 pm

    Question: Are Christians not allowed to drink alcohol? I’m Catholic, and we are allowed to drink alcohol in moderation.

  12. random person on March 21, 2022 at 5:49 pm

    God be with you, cause I wont

  13. Nick Landry on March 21, 2022 at 5:52 pm

    you’re kinda like dust on my sandals, so imma just shake you off and get outta here.

  14. Margaret Judice on March 21, 2022 at 5:54 pm

    Too funny! Thank you for sharing.

  15. CherryBoo65 B on March 21, 2022 at 5:54 pm

    I have to use these!!!!

  16. Lucia Carlson on March 21, 2022 at 5:55 pm

    1:27 this one got me for some reason

  17. OrthodoxofUSA on March 21, 2022 at 5:55 pm

    When I look at you, I know exactly how Jacob felt when he looked at Leah.

  18. Abd Fez on March 21, 2022 at 5:56 pm

    The breakable diamond july stay because purpose feasibly present pro a offbeat scarecrow. descriptive, spotted wholesaler

  19. Tanille on March 21, 2022 at 5:57 pm

    This is so good lol

  20. Jana Stuller on March 21, 2022 at 5:58 pm

    Savage

  21. Lauren A on March 21, 2022 at 6:00 pm

    Just look her dead in the eye and say " I’m doing the Lord’s work by telling you this ain’t gonna work"
    may the Lord be with you cuz I won’t"
    and on the third day he said I’m afraid of commitment"

  22. OrthodoxofUSA on March 21, 2022 at 6:04 pm

    I’m like the Nation of Israel and you’re like the Canaanites. We’re not supposed to be together.

  23. Lilian Peters on March 21, 2022 at 6:05 pm

    I love ten thousand reasons!

  24. the raisin of truth on March 21, 2022 at 6:06 pm

    One thing I found about dating, is that it’s useless. God provides everything we need, if were searching for it we are relying on ourselves and not relying or trusting in The Creator of all things that spoke and the universe came into existence.

  25. Ethan Maranto on March 21, 2022 at 6:06 pm

    Serious question, what is the Protestant view on alcohol? I know the Methodists are opposed to it all together, but do the rest of you allow it in moderation?

  26. CH3 Blazing Gospel on March 21, 2022 at 6:07 pm

    I just want to concentrate on serving the Lord right now

  27. Unripe Tomato on March 21, 2022 at 6:07 pm

    this is the church,
    here is the steeple.
    open the doors:
    and we aint together anymore I’m going to a different church, bye!

    *_don’t use that one_*

  28. Silver on March 21, 2022 at 6:07 pm

    2 yrs later he’s posting one takes and has a bowl cut lol

  29. Ladenna Young on March 21, 2022 at 6:08 pm

    Hey. Do you know Kirk Cameron? Because you are about to be left behind. Lol.

  30. Marybeth Duke on March 21, 2022 at 6:09 pm

    ROFL – love these!

  31. BubbleTeaViolet on March 21, 2022 at 6:09 pm

    Are we the two sides of bread in communion? Cause I was thinking we should break up.

  32. CH3 Blazing Gospel on March 21, 2022 at 6:10 pm

    Your wonderfully made for some one. I just don’t think it’s me.

  33. Gamer Twenty Nine on March 21, 2022 at 6:15 pm

    I don’t need these because I can’t pick up anyone

  34. Michael A. on March 21, 2022 at 6:16 pm

    The side comments in between the actual breakup lines really make this video lol

  35. Liliane Schlatter on March 21, 2022 at 6:17 pm

    "We should do it like Jacob and Esau: go seperate ways!"

  36. Rosie Huffleclaw on March 21, 2022 at 6:19 pm

    ❤️✝️❤️Jesus loves you!!!!!❤️✝️❤️ Have a blessed day!!!!!❤️✝️❤️

  37. Timothy Kelly on March 21, 2022 at 6:21 pm

    Meh

  38. OrthodoxofUSA on March 21, 2022 at 6:24 pm

    This relationship is strange fire before the Lord.

  39. Jennifer on March 21, 2022 at 6:25 pm

    "I prayed and really feel that there’s a better man out there for you and you’ll meet him within a year."

    Effing liar. And P.S. God didn’t tell you that. He didn’t tell me that either.

  40. Cameron Stewart on March 21, 2022 at 6:25 pm

    Hey did it hurt when you fell from heaven, because you for sure got kicked out! Epic parody, that improved my mood.

  41. Jeffrey Mom on March 21, 2022 at 6:26 pm

    Haha, this got reccomend on valentines day!

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