ASMR for Kids Who Hate Going to Church
ASMR for Kids Who Hate Going to Church
Hey kids & teens! It’s Father Rift! And welcome to Club Rift, the Southeastern Pennsylvania atheist chapter that welcomes all godless animals! This relaxing, sleepy, tingly session is dedicated to all the youth out there who, as the title strongly suggests, do not like attending church every Sunday! So sit back, relax and let the padre help save your impressionable young minds from the dark side!
00:00:00 Introductions
00:05:44 Club beverage & snacks
00:09:30 The Atheism Meter 3000
00:17:15 Questionnaire
00:27:55 Reading from the Book of Rift
00:43:50 Sounds of the Book of Rift
00:47:04 Tweezers
00:50:50 Microphone brushing
00:53:36 The Big Blue Ball of ASMR
00:57:13 Final words; Bottle cap sounds with fade-out
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What is ASMR? It is both a sensation and a medium.
ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response and is the current, non-scientific name given to the feeling characterized as a pleasurable tingling sensation felt in the head, scalp, back and other regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, and/or cognitive stimuli, such as crinkling bags, hand movements, whispering, personal attention or watching someone perform a task. It’s like goosebumps, but much more pleasant.
ASMR videos are meant to intentionally help induce this sensation, also referred to as “tingles”, but also provide a relaxing, calming, soothing, therapeutic and even entertaining experience for the viewer.
Many people who do not experience ASMR still enjoy the videos for their calming and sleepy effect.
*This is oddly specific and perfect for me*
When your friend tells you a story that you know is bullshit.
01:48
I don’t hate it I never gone
Why the fuck do you have a bag of milk? are you too good for a glass?
Fuck this video, I saw this like a year ago and I automatically left ur channel, now I see u’re AMAZING and probably my favorite ASMRtist, all the time lost by this video 🙁
I didn’t catch the sarcasm and I thought u were a hard catholic xD
Father your collar is ehh… not in right, ahh there you go
this video would have been useful for me aged 5 🙁
Was he trying to bribe us with food amazing
What the f*** bro who is going to hate to go to church dumbass I bet you go to freaking devil Church
Catholicism is the enemy of Christ. I grew up in this religion. The truth is any religion that has a set of Rules to help you get to Heaven is a false religion. Christ said whosoever will may!!! Christ say whosoever call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. Catholics believe mary is God the “co redeptress” this is a lie she didn’t ascend to heaven. She died. You can’t pray to her because she can’t hear youuuuu. Godless animal? The day you gave God you will hate yourself for not hearing me out. Creation screams there is a God. It take more faith to believe that something came from nothing then it does that everything came from something. Did the phone your holding come from nothing? Nope someone designed it. Just like we all have a design. And trees plants animals. They’re allll designed. We design because we are just like our creator. We came from God. His name is Jesus. Not allah not Buddha, not mary. Jesus.
I don’t go to church but I believe in god… my friends sometimes talk about church things and I don’t understand.
[Edit] I have a friend who is atheist and he’s pretty chill
I love my church :P.
All my cousins go, and we have this one church on Christmas Eve where each church preforms one of the acts of the bible.
Its really fun and entertaining!!
^^
20:27 I am a child of God and he Does own me! I am no longer a slave to fear and sin, but I am a child of God!
After leaving religion I can actually enjoy this video.
I only hate going to church because random people will like, touch my shoulders or something sometimes and I have major panic attacks OOF
Lmao
i still hate it :v
I honestly never got why my mom wants me to go to church… and the times I went I. hated. It. It’s so loud and loud noises give me head aches. Plus if God’s everywhere then why go to church if you can praise god at home? I don’t want to go somewhere on a Sunday morning just to be in pain and in a cranky mood?
the perfect channel doesn’t exis-
Like… Which kid even likes to go to church? Isn’t that like the most boring thing you just have to do at sunday bacause your parents are making you?
Yes and you believe we are here because of a big gas fart. LOL
Just to let you know a lot of kids don’t go to church and that’s ok. It doesn’t they have to go ALL the time. Like we all believe in different things and god but sometimes we don’t have to go. Like I used to go but I quit because of my grandma so….yea. Great video though
1:58 the face I make when I see impossible math questions on a test
I like to going to church
I HAVE TO FUCKIN GO TO CHURCH EVERY TUESDAY, THURSDAY’S AND SATURDAYS AND SUNDAYS I COME HOME FROM SCHOOL TIRED AND SOR. EVERY SERVICE IS LIKE 2 3 HOURS I HATE CHURCH. I DONT BELIEVE IN THAT STUPID BITCH. FUCK CHURCH FUCK RELIGION FUCK RELIGIOUS PARENTS.
Im a Christian so i dislike the vid
I don’t got to church I’m atheist hah!
I HATE ASMR AND CHURCH
lol i dont go to church i go to the mosque
We don’t go to church anymore but I still hate it. I respect religion but I can’t stand my religious family preaching to me and I have no response because I don’t really know much about their Christian beliefs.
I want some Milk Pouch Milk!
This is the most relaxed I’ve ever been.
Atheism level is so high I can’t even spell ICUP NIGGA.
2:30 oooooo he swore!
I love how at 47:05 he just fucks off with the theme and starts making a normal ass asmr
This is my favorite video. Thank you so much father.
Haha I need bovine secretions with my oreos please.
Funny how your religion adjusts to new cultural values. Because youre not supposed to condemn gays dammit jesus preaches tolerance and didnt you know the new testament throws out the old? You guys just cherry pick what parts of your belief you want to adhere to and buy into.
*Tips fedora*
Ty daddy
ASMR for people who hate going to the Gulag
You rock! Stay skeptical. You’re the first atheistic asmrtist I’ve heard, the funniest asmrtist, and the first male asmrtist that has given me tingles.
I’m just glad I made it out without being brainwashed. When I have kids they can go if they want but not me. I’ll be at home playing video games, expressing my will and all
I love this channel. It always put me to sleep but I couldn’t stop laughing! Atheism meter 3000. Lmao!!! Keep the humor and the tingles coming. Thank you for the videos!
LMAO im at the beginning of this vidoe and cant stop laughing! “U know what fuggit”
And rift said let there be tingles and asmr was created
But… What if I’m not a metalhead?
Mammary Fluids