ASMR for Kids Who Hate Going to Church

Hey kids & teens! It’s Father Rift! And welcome to Club Rift, the Southeastern Pennsylvania atheist chapter that welcomes all godless animals! This relaxing, sleepy, tingly session is dedicated to all the youth out there who, as the title strongly suggests, do not like attending church every Sunday! So sit back, relax and let the padre help save your impressionable young minds from the dark side!

00:00:00 Introductions
00:05:44 Club beverage & snacks
00:09:30 The Atheism Meter 3000
00:17:15 Questionnaire
00:27:55 Reading from the Book of Rift
00:43:50 Sounds of the Book of Rift
00:47:04 Tweezers
00:50:50 Microphone brushing
00:53:36 The Big Blue Ball of ASMR
00:57:13 Final words; Bottle cap sounds with fade-out

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What is ASMR? It is both a sensation and a medium.

ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response and is the current, non-scientific name given to the feeling characterized as a pleasurable tingling sensation felt in the head, scalp, back and other regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, and/or cognitive stimuli, such as crinkling bags, hand movements, whispering, personal attention or watching someone perform a task. It’s like goosebumps, but much more pleasant.

ASMR videos are meant to intentionally help induce this sensation, also referred to as “tingles”, but also provide a relaxing, calming, soothing, therapeutic and even entertaining experience for the viewer.

Many people who do not experience ASMR still enjoy the videos for their calming and sleepy effect.

48 Comments

  1. WeirdoDotCom on May 28, 2019 at 12:21 pm

    *This is oddly specific and perfect for me*

  2. Robbo on May 28, 2019 at 12:21 pm

    When your friend tells you a story that you know is bullshit.

    01:48

  3. Raven kid 30 on May 28, 2019 at 12:21 pm

    I don’t hate it I never gone

  4. Brandon Heaton on May 28, 2019 at 12:22 pm

    Why the fuck do you have a bag of milk? are you too good for a glass?

  5. はしっと on May 28, 2019 at 12:23 pm

    Fuck this video, I saw this like a year ago and I automatically left ur channel, now I see u’re AMAZING and probably my favorite ASMRtist, all the time lost by this video 🙁
    I didn’t catch the sarcasm and I thought u were a hard catholic xD

  6. Stephanie Hutchinson on May 28, 2019 at 12:24 pm

    Father your collar is ehh… not in right, ahh there you go

  7. badcornflakevibes on May 28, 2019 at 12:24 pm

    this video would have been useful for me aged 5 🙁

  8. Leonardo Nunes on May 28, 2019 at 12:27 pm

    Was he trying to bribe us with food amazing

  9. Gyovanny Salinas on May 28, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    What the f*** bro who is going to hate to go to church dumbass I bet you go to freaking devil Church

  10. Fred Eskridge on May 28, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    Catholicism is the enemy of Christ. I grew up in this religion. The truth is any religion that has a set of Rules to help you get to Heaven is a false religion. Christ said whosoever will may!!! Christ say whosoever call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. Catholics believe mary is God the “co redeptress” this is a lie she didn’t ascend to heaven. She died. You can’t pray to her because she can’t hear youuuuu. Godless animal? The day you gave God you will hate yourself for not hearing me out. Creation screams there is a God. It take more faith to believe that something came from nothing then it does that everything came from something. Did the phone your holding come from nothing? Nope someone designed it. Just like we all have a design. And trees plants animals. They’re allll designed. We design because we are just like our creator. We came from God. His name is Jesus. Not allah not Buddha, not mary. Jesus.

  11. Pony pie on May 28, 2019 at 12:29 pm

    I don’t go to church but I believe in god… my friends sometimes talk about church things and I don’t understand.
    [Edit] I have a friend who is atheist and he’s pretty chill

  12. Sour Stark on May 28, 2019 at 12:29 pm

    I love my church :P.
    All my cousins go, and we have this one church on Christmas Eve where each church preforms one of the acts of the bible.
    Its really fun and entertaining!!
    ^^

  13. Ezra Fisher on May 28, 2019 at 12:30 pm

    20:27 I am a child of God and he Does own me! I am no longer a slave to fear and sin, but I am a child of God!

  14. Jonathan Kramer on May 28, 2019 at 12:31 pm

    After leaving religion I can actually enjoy this video.

  15. Evelyn Boles on May 28, 2019 at 12:31 pm

    I only hate going to church because random people will like, touch my shoulders or something sometimes and I have major panic attacks OOF

  16. Zade 6075 on May 28, 2019 at 12:31 pm

    Lmao

  17. Leo Macías Ho on May 28, 2019 at 12:32 pm

    i still hate it :v

  18. Kirmat DaFrag on May 28, 2019 at 12:34 pm

    I honestly never got why my mom wants me to go to church… and the times I went I. hated. It. It’s so loud and loud noises give me head aches. Plus if God’s everywhere then why go to church if you can praise god at home? I don’t want to go somewhere on a Sunday morning just to be in pain and in a cranky mood?

  19. YoCrunch on May 28, 2019 at 12:34 pm

    the perfect channel doesn’t exis-

  20. sexy naexy on May 28, 2019 at 12:34 pm

    Like… Which kid even likes to go to church? Isn’t that like the most boring thing you just have to do at sunday bacause your parents are making you?

  21. Timothy Douglas on May 28, 2019 at 12:40 pm

    Yes and you believe we are here because of a big gas fart. LOL

  22. Moon Gacha on May 28, 2019 at 12:41 pm

    Just to let you know a lot of kids don’t go to church and that’s ok. It doesn’t they have to go ALL the time. Like we all believe in different things and god but sometimes we don’t have to go. Like I used to go but I quit because of my grandma so….yea. Great video though

  23. Stephanie Hutchinson on May 28, 2019 at 12:42 pm

    1:58 the face I make when I see impossible math questions on a test

  24. FilipkooTV on May 28, 2019 at 12:42 pm

    I like to going to church

  25. growupxander on May 28, 2019 at 12:42 pm

    I HAVE TO FUCKIN GO TO CHURCH EVERY TUESDAY, THURSDAY’S AND SATURDAYS AND SUNDAYS I COME HOME FROM SCHOOL TIRED AND SOR. EVERY SERVICE IS LIKE 2 3 HOURS I HATE CHURCH. I DONT BELIEVE IN THAT STUPID BITCH. FUCK CHURCH FUCK RELIGION FUCK RELIGIOUS PARENTS.

  26. Mouse Aman on May 28, 2019 at 12:46 pm

    Im a Christian so i dislike the vid

  27. dead memes69 on May 28, 2019 at 12:48 pm

    I don’t got to church I’m atheist hah!

  28. eduardo arantes on May 28, 2019 at 12:49 pm

    I HATE ASMR AND CHURCH

  29. empressarticwolf478 on May 28, 2019 at 12:51 pm

    lol i dont go to church i go to the mosque

  30. Nikki The Fox on May 28, 2019 at 12:56 pm

    We don’t go to church anymore but I still hate it. I respect religion but I can’t stand my religious family preaching to me and I have no response because I don’t really know much about their Christian beliefs.

  31. Cryogenix on May 28, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    I want some Milk Pouch Milk!

  32. AmberDaFloof :3 on May 28, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    This is the most relaxed I’ve ever been.

  33. late night vibes on May 28, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    Atheism level is so high I can’t even spell ICUP NIGGA​.

  34. Anumbernine Large on May 28, 2019 at 1:00 pm

    2:30 oooooo he swore!

  35. ZBWG46 on May 28, 2019 at 1:02 pm

    I love how at 47:05 he just fucks off with the theme and starts making a normal ass asmr

  36. John Ramírez on May 28, 2019 at 1:05 pm

    This is my favorite video. Thank you so much father.

  37. mlaughlin0225 on May 28, 2019 at 1:08 pm

    Haha I need bovine secretions with my oreos please.

  38. malefactor on May 28, 2019 at 1:09 pm

    Funny how your religion adjusts to new cultural values. Because youre not supposed to condemn gays dammit jesus preaches tolerance and didnt you know the new testament throws out the old? You guys just cherry pick what parts of your belief you want to adhere to and buy into.

  39. Volfer 10 on May 28, 2019 at 1:09 pm

    *Tips fedora*

  40. Angel of Sapphires on May 28, 2019 at 1:11 pm

    Ty daddy

  41. Colby Alarcon on May 28, 2019 at 1:13 pm

    ASMR for people who hate going to the Gulag

  42. Priority 1: Kindness on May 28, 2019 at 1:15 pm

    You rock! Stay skeptical. You’re the first atheistic asmrtist I’ve heard, the funniest asmrtist, and the first male asmrtist that has given me tingles.

  43. Jonah Lay on May 28, 2019 at 1:15 pm

    I’m just glad I made it out without being brainwashed. When I have kids they can go if they want but not me. I’ll be at home playing video games, expressing my will and all

  44. Kristie Honsinger on May 28, 2019 at 1:16 pm

    I love this channel. It always put me to sleep but I couldn’t stop laughing! Atheism meter 3000. Lmao!!! Keep the humor and the tingles coming. Thank you for the videos!

  45. Bullydog on May 28, 2019 at 1:18 pm

    LMAO im at the beginning of this vidoe and cant stop laughing! “U know what fuggit”

  46. Ravenous Wabbit on May 28, 2019 at 1:20 pm

    And rift said let there be tingles and asmr was created

  47. Showan on May 28, 2019 at 1:20 pm

    But… What if I’m not a metalhead?

  48. Ashley Duncan on May 28, 2019 at 1:20 pm

    Mammary Fluids

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